Archive for March, 2009

Getting what you really want…That’s what communication skills are for.

 

Whether it’s making a million bucks; having a family that loves each other; creating the business of your dreams or planning a vacation.

The one skill that is common to all of these things and just about everything else, is having great communication skills.

 

Go to the link below to discover more about all the ways rhat you can get those skills.

http://www.topcommunicationskills.com

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We were all born with natural instinct. We cried when we were
hungry – not because we were taught to, but because it was our
instinctive response to our physical need. Emotion calls on
instinct too. The “flight or fight” response to fear is one most
of us have experienced and, with the adrenaline pounding through
us, we know the reaction was not the result of a calculated
decision-making process.

Our natural instinct is used most in sports, drama, music and
other non-academic activities. It tends to be suppressed as we
mature. Instinct, or intuition, remains in us as adults, but is
usually underdeveloped and under-recognized. You’ve surely had
the experience of meeting someone new in both personal and
professional situations – and having a “gut feeling” about them.
Or of walking into a room and sensing the “vibes” – good or bad.
This is your instinct piping up, giving you a chance to “trust
your gut” and “listen to the vibes.”

Instinct is insight based not on reason, but on awareness. When
we allow it back into our consciousness, we can become more
effective in many areas of life, including our role as a leader.
Allowing it back calls for a heightened sense of openness to our
self and others.

Openness to our self To draw instinct into play is to increase
our self-awareness. Suppression of feelings is an impediment in
this quest. Your first step must be to abandon any reluctance in
recognizing your feelings. Rather, embrace them, learn about
them, and experiment at living with and by them.

This first step can be difficult as many people are unfamiliar
with this part of themselves. Acknowledging and identifying your
feelings is at least half of this ongoing process.

Check yourself throughout the day, in any and all settings, by
asking yourself, “What am I feeling now? How am I reacting to
this person? To this situation?” Some answers will be positive:
you may feel joyful, generous, or creative. These are usually
the easiest ones to admit. Others are not – you may feel angry,
worried, or depressed. While these are harder to acknowledge,
they are equally valuable in your effort to gain access to your
instinctive self.

Openness to others To effectively apply your instinct in your
interactions with others, you should be aware of their feelings,
motivations, and sensibilities as well as your own. To do this,
you need to be a good listener, an invaluable and underemployed
skill fundamental to effective leadership. Being able to listen
well means paying close attention not just to words, but to the
nonverbal communication that accompanies them – it often speaks
more loudly than the words themselves.

Listening well help you to become more aware of others people’s
feelings and how they influence their actions. This is called
empathy. In his insightful book, “A Whole New Mind: Moving from
the Information Age to the Conceptual Age,” Daniel H. Pink
writes, “Empathy is the ability to imagine yourself in someone
else’s position and to intuit what that person is feeling. . . .
It is something we do pretty much spontaneously, an act of
instinct rather than the product of deliberation. . . . It is
feeling with someone else, sensing what it would be like to be
that person.”

This happens when a parent is engaged with his/her child’s
development and growth. Watching your 8-year-old perform a play
on the ball field is often an empathetic experience. You “know”
the feelings that accompany his earnest reach for the ball as
you watch the progress of the play.

Instinct in leadership Using your instinct in your role as
leader means developing a keen awareness of your staff,
colleagues, and clients as individuals, and recognizing that not
only is each person different, but they are different from you.
It means understanding what they go through on a day-to-day
basis and yields insight into their strengths and weaknesses.
Using your instinct, you are able to walk into a meeting and be
aware of how others are feeling and reacting around you.

An effective leader blends strong leadership skills with this
empathetic awareness, guiding others to meet challenges and
opportunities for their own benefit and the benefit of the
organization. When such a leader takes the time and effort to
know all employees personally on this level, the results in
employee morale, empowerment, performance, and retention are
excellent.

Gary Klein, well known for research into decision-making,
discusses intuition as a learnable skill. In his book, “The
Power of Intuition: How to Use Your Gut Feelings to Make Better
Decisions at Work,” he states that “90 percent of critical
decisions are based on our intuition.”

Your staff and colleagues define you as a leader by what they
see you do. Your actions are based on your decisions and your
decisions can be influenced favorably by your instinct. As a
good leader, you can use instinct in making decisions that align
your personal and organizational values and lead to your desired
outcomes.

“He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is
enlightened.” — Tao Te Ching

Categories : communication skill
Comments (3)

Listening is one of the most common and important things that we do. Recent research on work behaviour suggests that we spend approximately 9% of our time writing, 16% of our time reading, 30% of our time talking and 45% of our time listening.

Listening is a fundamental part of the communication process. Regardless of the type of job you do or the industry in which you work, it is important to understand the listening process, have an awareness of barriers to listening effectively, and learn how to listen actively.

Listening as a process

Hearing and listening are not the same thing. In fact, hearing is just the first of three stages in the listening process, all of which are fairly obvious but still worth remembering.

- Hearing Simply the process of sound waves being transformed by our brains into impulses.

- Attention Important so that we can hear what is being said to us, but often difficult due to distractions such as noise intrusion or internal distractions such as thinking about something else rather than what is being said.

- Understanding This is the most crucial aspect of the process on a number of levels. As well as understanding what is being said, we need to try to understand the context of the message, and understand the significance of any verbal or non-verbal clues from the speaker. Having a degree of background knowledge regarding the speaker or the subject is also helpful.

Barriers to listening

In most situations there are a number of obstacles which can stop us from listening effectively, and as a trainer it is important to appreciate what these obstacles are and how to overcome each of them. Broadly speaking, there are four types of barriers to listening -

- Psychological barriers, including prejudice, apathy or fear on the part of the listener. For example, someone working in marketing or production may not be as interested in a presentation on annual financial results as an accountant or sales director, given that it may not directly impact on their day to day activities.

- Physical barriers, including disability, fatigue or poor health on the part of the listener. For example, trying to listen to a speaker for long periods while you are suffering from a heavy cold is a fairly difficult thing to do.

- Environmental barriers, including distracting noises, uncomfortable or poorly positioned seating, or an unsuitable climate such as an overheated, stuffy meeting room.

- Expectation barriers, such as anticipating a mundane or boring presentation, expecting to receive bad news, or being spoken to in confusing jargon.

In a work or educational situation, you can certainly address tangible barriers such as environmental factors or physical obstacles. Dealing with internal barriers can be more difficult, but a lot of this can be achieved by thorough preparation before any meetings or group sessions.

Active listening

In order to understand the concept and value of active listening, it is worth considering it as one of three different types of listening.

- Competitive listening You will see this most often in negotiation situations, or when politicians are debating with each other. The person being spoken to is more interested in getting their own point of view across when the other person stops speaking, rather than acknowledging what they have just heard. Alternatively, they are distracted by thinking about their own argument or point of view rather than listening properly.

- Passive or attentive listening This is always a danger in lecture style presentation sessions. An audience will pay attention to the slides and listen carefully to the speaker, but there is no real opportunity to interact. This means that the speaker may not know how well their message is being understood.

- Active listening This is the best way to listen for and understand the real message in what people are saying. It involves taking the next step from just listening attentively, by looking to show obvious interest in what the speaker is saying, and by trying to interact with them. As a manager, salesperson or trainer you need to try to use active listening yourself, and provide opportunities for colleagues, customers and learners to use active listening techniques as well. This is of particular importance when involved in informal training activities such as coaching and mentoring.

In terms of outlining the techniques which can be used for active listening, it is useful to think back to the three basic stages of the listening process – hearing, attention and understanding.

Hearing and attention

- First and hopefully obviously, stop talking.

- Try to eliminate as many distractions as possible, both external and internal.

- Try to control your own non-verbal signals to the person speaking. This could mean paying attention to your physical stance, your body movements, eye contact with the speaker, and encouraging motions such as nodding or smiling.

Understanding

- Make sure that you understand the purpose of the speaker, and also be aware of you want from the conversation.

- It also helps to take notes, but try to focus on writing down key words and phrases that will jog your memory later, rather than trying to write down everything that is being said in an act of dictation.

- If possible, try to ask questions. You can use the notes you have written to remind you of points that need clarification. Try not to interrupt though!

- Finally, try to use the technique of reflecting what the speaker says to you.

Reflecting

This is a technique used extensively by people involved in consultative selling, but it is also a very useful tool for anyone involved in business, education, training or voluntary work. Communication can be broken down into three levels – facts, thoughts (or beliefs) and feelings (or emotions). Reflecting works on all three levels.

- Repeat the facts that you think you have been given by the speaker. This is sometimes referred to as â??parroting’. If you are right, you know that you are getting the basic elements of what the speaker is telling you. If you have made any mistakes, this gives you both an opportunity to get back on to the same page.

- Also share the thoughts or beliefs that you have heard, and try to convey the underlying feelings or emotions which you believe are involved. For example, the speaker may be very upset and wants you to display empathy or sympathy with their situation. It is this reflection of thoughts and feelings which distinguishes reflecting from just parroting back to the speaker, which might get a bit tedious and annoying for all concerned.

Again, this is a very useful tool when coaching or mentoring. It can also be used during feedback sessions in a more formal situation such as a performance review meeting.

Jason De Boer
http://www.articlesbase.com/business-articles/improve-your-results-with-active-listening-71496.html

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The characteristics of a divorce lawyer are important to consider when seeking legal representation. Whether your divorce is highly contested or if you are close to settling all or most of the major issues pertaining to your divorce such as child custody and visitation, division of property, and support, the following characteristics of a prospective divorce lawyer should be considered.

(1) Proactive

(2) Willingness to negotiate

(3) Assertive

(4) Approachable

(5) Problem solver

Proactive

Proactive divorce lawyers often keep the opposing party on the defensive. Rather than reacting to the opposing counsels requests, a proactive attorney will have a strategy and often initiate action requiring the other party to respond or react. When done effectively, the opposing party may find themselves responding and reacting with little or no opportunity to go on the offensive.

Willingness to negotiate

Cases in which the parties are close to settling all or some of their divorce issues can benefit from divorce lawyers that are willing to help negotiate settlements out-of-court. Additionally, much time, money, and stress associated with contested divorce cases can be drastically reduced. However, in highly contested divorces, negotiating settlements may not be an option and a good trial lawyer may be more valuable.

Assertive

An assertive divorce lawyer is typically confident, but not arrogant, and knows when it is ok to be assertive and when it is not. Additionally, such an attorney will often demonstrate confidence in the courtroom through his/her experience and may remain unemotional throughout your divorce proceedings. The attorneyâ??s communication with the opposing counsel will typically be amicable, but when under attack, he/she will not be afraid to assert his/her clientâ??s position.

Approachable

Approachable attorneys are easy to talk to and easy to get in contact with. When you request to speak with them they will make themselves available and return your call in a timely manner. However, an approachable attorney is not an attorney that will engage in meaningless conversations that have no relevance to your case. Typically, an approachable attorney will demonstrate good listening skills in a conversation and will politely inform you if they believe you are getting off the subject to make the best use of his/her time.

Problem solver

An attorney that demonstrates good problem solving skills will have a strategy for your case. Such attorneys are often willing to negotiate settlements when it makes sense, but are fully prepared for trial if matters cannot be settled out-of-court.

If you plan to retain a divorce lawyer to help you with your divorce, taking into consideration the above 5 traits of a prospective attorney before you hire him/her might save you a surprising amount of time, money, and stress during your divorce proceedings.

© 2007 Child Custody Coach

Child Custody Coach supplies information, online materials, and coaching services to parents in the field of child custody, namely, divorce, child custody and visitation, child custody evaluations, 730 evaluations, parenting, and all issues related to child custody and divorce. “How to Win Child Custody – Proven Strategies that can Win You Custody and Save You Thousands in Attorney Cost!” is a unique child custody strategy guide written by The Custody Coach and made available by Child Custody Coach in an easy to read, understand, and apply E-Book format. Custody Match is an online consumer and family law attorney matching service to help you in your search for the right attorney for your divorce or child custody case. Custody Match can help you find the right family law attorney, divorce lawyer, or child custody attorney in your area.

Steven Carlson
http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/divorce-lawyer-characteristics-5-traits-to-consider-95762.html

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It’s been broadcasted all over the world. It was said to have be one of the most universally known sad events that doesn’t involve an act of terrorism.

Steve Irwin’s death.

Otherwise known as the crocodile hunter, he became the figure of reptiles and especially Australia. He wrestled vicious animals like they were harmless creatures. He’d pick up many dangerous animals and treat them like little babies!

Why do you think Steve had so many people who not only knew about him, but loved him?

Being Australian, I know he’s done a great deal for this country. But it was his charismatic personality and communication style that made him so widely loved by many people drawing their attention and attracting a lot of media attention.

It wasn’t his job of wrestling crocs that made people like him. There are a tonne of other animal wrestlers out there that put their bodies on the line that people don’t know of and even hate.

It was his personality and the way he communicated himself that made him so widely loved.

This begs me to ask you, what following do you have? Do you have people that love you because of what you do or who you are? Are they attracted to you and are proud to know you? Are they a better person because they know you?

This is what developing your communication and self is also about. You are developing the many areas within yourself for not only your own good, but for the good of others.

When you improve yourself and especially improve your communication, you begin to attract people and more favorable emotions out of people you already know. These emotions people experience go beyond feeling more attracted to you (attraction includes every person and thing that is drawn towards you), they inspire the person.

The person feels better about him/herself. They desire to follow in your foot steps and learn the skills you have learnt and this of course leads to amazing paths. These people reach new personal development ground otherwise untouchable if not for your influence.

Look at the wide outreach and influence Steve had on people. A lot of people became happier, they become less fearful of “dangerous” animals, and I’m sure quite a few would have tried to replicate Steve’s life-filled personality.

The opposite is also true. If you are unhappy, frequently fight with people, and in general have poor communication skills, then you’ll encourage bad behavior in others. They will begin to follow your bad communication skills such as conflict, poor listening, and other communication areas will suffer leading to poor relationships and unhappiness.

That’s what I want you to realize today. Improving yourself goes beyond the self-centered benefits. By effectively communicating you inspire others to grow themselves. They see the positive effects it has on your life and desire to follow in your footsteps.

Thanks Steve for being such an inspiration!

Joshua Uebergang
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/steve-irwins-personality-and-communication-style-65316.html

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Introduction

 

Better communication skills; not a term usually associated with technology types.  Perhaps you’ve heard the story about the man who asked the engineer what time it was, and the engineer told him how to build a watch?

 

Exaggeration?

 

Perhaps, but there is many a true story about firms meeting with clients, and the client asks the IT guy if the system will work.  The IT guy’s response goes something like this: “It certainly should.   We did all our design reviews, held code walk thrus, tested it in system test, user acceptance test, load testâ?¦.yeah, we’re feeling pretty good at this point.”

 

The right answer, of course, is “yes, we guarantee it”. 

 

To be fair, it’s not easy for tech pros these days.  Many of their business counterparts are relatively tech savvy.  They don’t know if the VP of Marketing that they are talking to has detailed knowledge of web technology, or if they don’t know their browser from their Bowzer (that’s for you Sha Na Na fans).

 

Tips for Tech Pros

 

Technology professionals who don’t want to be treated like mushrooms, who want direct involvement with clients and the chance to participate in decision making, need to develop better communication skills.  It’s not too hard if they focus on four key behaviors:

 

  • Adapt to your audience.  Figure out where they start from on the technical knowledge scale.  You don’t want to lose them, and you don’t want to talk down to them.  If you’re not sure, ask.   They’ll usually give you a straight answer.

 

 

  • Listen for intent.  If the client wants a high availability customer database solution, and the customer billing info is on a separate database, then they probably need high availability for that other database as well. 

 

 

  • Be tolerant and value differences.  It’s ok if the lawyer can’t turn on his laptop.   You probably don’t want to be his opposing counsel in front of a judge.

 

 

  • Don’t try to impress.  The tech knowledgeable members of the audience won’t be, and the tech averse already are.

 

 

Managers and Leaders

 

You stand to gain credibility with clients and partners when you can bring your tech pros along to answer questions and gain a stronger understanding of the business.  Of course you can suffer if they commit crimes of miscommunication.  Here’s what you need to do:

 

  • Decide which members of your staff just don’t have business communication in their DNA.  Be honest with those people, and define their roles accordingly.  You don’t have to keep them in the dark like mushrooms, just make sure you know who’s around before you let them into the daylight.

 

 

  • Highlight the strong communicators in your technology teams.  Give them access to clients and other business leaders.  Make it clear that they are demonstrating role model behavior.

 

 

  • Invite business experts (internal, external, client) to share their knowledge and feedback with your technical teams.  You’ll get a better sense of who “get’s it”, and your staff will appreciate your efforts on their behalf.

 

 

  • Take every opportunity to reinforce for technology professionals the reasons why they are asked to do what they do.  Help them keep perspective.  Encourage questions, and provide individual feedback about more than their technical skills.

Tom O\’Dea
http://www.articlesbase.com/leadership-articles/better-communication-skills-for-technology-professionals-519182.html

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If you work in health care, provide your professional point of view on whether or not the physician-centered communication attributes listed below correspond to physicians at your workplace. If you do not work in health care, provide your personal point of view on whether or not you think these attributes correspond to the majority of physicians you have encountered. Be sure to provide specific examples to support your responses.
o Assertive behavior
o Questions and directives
o Blocking
o Patronizing behavior
o Power difference

still not helping you and your tests.

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Phone~ e-mail ~ posty notes ~ Routings or Work orders ~ Voice ~ blue prints ~ PA System ~ Gophers ~ Speeches ~ news letters ~ and firing someone usually sends a load and clear message…

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Business studies

Presentation: If someone comes across as sloppy and in bad form, what's the difference from them or a homeless man helping you. It makes you feel comfortable.

Interpersonal: Someone with an inviting attitude, makes you more inclined to ask questions and comfortable enough to get help.

communication skills: The person will NEED to be able to communicate well. This is not just how they communicate, but how they LISTEN and then effectively communicate a resolution.

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it should be done by obtaining court permission./

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