Archive for assertive communication
Assertive Communication
Posted by: | CommentsHow can you use assertive communication without being the bad guy?
Many people confuse being assertive with being selfish. Being assertive means nothing more than being clear on what you want and expressing it.
Sometimes, the recipient of your message will make an emotional judgment about what you’ve said that is based on their own needs. Because this judgement is an emotional one, it’s often the case that it’s not rational. Separating emotion from logic is one of the challenges that you will face when making an assertive communication.
It goes without saying, therefore, that before using assertive communication you will have stepped back and looked at all of the options objectively. Until you have done so, and you’re absolutely certain that what you’re about to say is in the best interests of all concerned, it may be better to hold your counsel.
By going through the process of stepping back you’ll be able to assess the situation from a detached and logical view point. Having this objectivity will assist you greatly in deciding whether or not it is prudent to use assertive communication.
In all communications between people the ultimate objective is to create a situation in which all parties win. Being assertive does not imply that you must win and they must lose. Nor should it imply that you must be right.
When approaching a situation where you feel you need to use assertive communication, it may be better to look at it from the view point of “what can I do or say that will make this situation better for me and for the other person?” If you also start your message to the other party by preframing it with a statement such as “I have thought this through and I believe that this may be the best course of action for us to take. I’m say this because I believe this is in both of our best interests. I’m not saying this because I want to, or need to, win. What I’m about to say is so that you can win and I can win.”
At this point, it would be better if you wait for the response from the other person and adjust your message to address their answer. By doing this, they will feel heard and understood, and they will be far more likely to cooperate with your request.
Once you’re both agreed that the conversation is about creating the best possible outcome for all parties, you can then proceed with your assertive communication.
Being assertive does not mean blaming, critising or putting the other person down in any way. You merely state what happens, the concrete affect that it has on you, and how you feel as a result of it. By doing it this way, if you stick to this formula, the other person will be unable to dispute what actually happens when they do whatever they do.
However…
There’s always the danger that the other party will disagree with whatever you say, including the things in the formula. At this point you’re then faced with a choice. You can either restate the things you said earlier or you can choose to terminate the conversation and reconsider other ways you can say what you want to say.
In some situations, other people are so entrenched in defending their way of thinking or being that nothing you say will change their perspective. If that is the case, you may have to reconsider whether or not you wish to continue with that relationship.
Compared: Shoe Shopping & Assertive Communication
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Why do women love shoes? Because they love shopping for them! And when you know what you want, it’s easier to get it! …
But what if you don’t know…
! Joe Urbanski is a Personal Development Coach & Trainer with The OnDemand Coach, specializing in one-to-one coaching and workshops to support your leadership and confidence, career fulfillment, communication and teamwork, and time management…all so that you can Become The Coach Of Your Own Life(TM). Learn more at www.TheOnDemandCoach.com!
Duration : 0:3:36
Did you use Active Listening, Conflict resolution, problem solving, assertive communication or any other positive soft skill to your benefit?
I work for a non-profit that deals with Character Education and Social and Emotional Learning and am trying to collect real-life "success stories" that trying to be a better person actually pays off.
Can you share your stories with me? Thanks guys.
Well, it took me years of practice and I am finally getting a good grip on my emotions. I was pitiful, always crying at the drop of a hat if someone gave me any constructive criticism. Blushed if someone told me I was pretty. I knew I had a problem and I think it came from being insecure as a child because I did not have my mother, I had no security in life. Every time I was in a situation I was determined to try as hard as I could to keep a straight face and control my emotions and it has gotten better over time.
Marriage Advice about Assertive Communication
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Marriage Advice from Bloomfield Hills Michigan marriage counseling pros Jesse and Melva Johnson
responding to www.christiancouplestransformations.com having difficulty practicing assertive communication because she believes her husbands feelings are based on wrong or not real information. Also believes he uses feelings to disarm her and end the conversation.
Duration : 0:1:45
what type of Communication is this phrase?
Posted by: | Commentsthe following statement is made
"Help me understand why the project was not complete on time"
what type of Communication is used?
A. Passive
B. Assertive
C. Aggressive
D. Passive aggressive
B. Assertive… confident and direct in dealing with others
Assertive Communication Skills
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http://www.askmikethecounselor2.com/assertive-communication-skills.html
Assertive communication skills
Duration : 0:3:36
Why don’t they teach adolescents assertive communications in schools?
Posted by: | CommentsIt is such an important quality to have for any carreer, or life situation that deals with people when it all comes down. I am amazed how much easier it is making my life, as I am forced to learn it for my nursing degree. I wish they would have taught this in school, and I want to do something about it. What do you think?
I also agree. As a professional you need to be assertive, and in a third world country such as where I live, I wish people would also stop being mediocre and take control of the situations. Sometimes, I believe it isn’t taught to people as a way to truncate their lives and assure that the people already at the top, stay at the top. That way they can inject fear into their heads easier. I believe Americans especially are easily manipulated by what they see in the media, and sometimes fear expression of their own.
Assertiveness – Tips for being assertive & saying ‘No’
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Assertiveness skills and tips from communication experts Speak First and trainer Snéha Khilay. See someone practising saying ‘no’ and turning down a request in a strong, assertive and respectful way.
http://www.speak-first.com/courses/personal-impact/assert-yourself-with-confidence.aspx
Duration : 0:7:13
My wife is suffering from depression and can be extremely abusive toward me. I am not a passive person in fact I can be very assertive and stubborn.
I have hung in so long because of my children and have been improving some communication with my wife. I still feel like I cannot open myself up to her.
Any toughts here? I feel like I am driving blind in this relationship and trying to find some contentment.
We have currently been in intense counseling for over two years and off and on before that for ten years.
This is truly wearing on me and the children.
Also, when we have time alone she is putting me or the children down.
Now is the time to pray. Really pray. As you see counseling isn’t helping. The only one who is able to heal her is God.
I was depressed most of my life. When I started going to church and praying, God took away the depression and gave me
peace. A peace of mind. I know what depression does. It will
drive you crazy and it takes a toll on the family. Take your wife to a church and let them pray for her. God is going to bless you for being a good and faithful husband. I
applaud you for your work and devotion. There are not many men who would do that for their wife. If God delivered me from it then He can do the same for her. I’m a living witness. I’m a survivor.
Be an Assertive Communicator : Introduction to Assertive Communication
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assertive communication is about finding a balance in styles. Learn about different communication styles from a communications and public speaking expert in this free instructional video.
Expert: Tracy Goodwin
Bio: Tracy has a Master’s in Corporate Communication and 10 years experience in professional speaking.
Filmmaker: MAKE | MEDIA
Duration : 0:1:17