For older women only please…I am continuing to try and work with my marriage and it is very difficult.?
ByMy wife is suffering from depression and can be extremely abusive toward me. I am not a passive person in fact I can be very assertive and stubborn.
I have hung in so long because of my children and have been improving some communication with my wife. I still feel like I cannot open myself up to her.
Any toughts here? I feel like I am driving blind in this relationship and trying to find some contentment.
We have currently been in intense counseling for over two years and off and on before that for ten years.
This is truly wearing on me and the children.
Also, when we have time alone she is putting me or the children down.
Now is the time to pray. Really pray. As you see counseling isn’t helping. The only one who is able to heal her is God.
I was depressed most of my life. When I started going to church and praying, God took away the depression and gave me
peace. A peace of mind. I know what depression does. It will
drive you crazy and it takes a toll on the family. Take your wife to a church and let them pray for her. God is going to bless you for being a good and faithful husband. I
applaud you for your work and devotion. There are not many men who would do that for their wife. If God delivered me from it then He can do the same for her. I’m a living witness. I’m a survivor.
6 Comments
February 7th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
is she on medication since you said she is depressed? if not psychiatrist a medical evaluation marriage counselor DIVORCE with split custody.
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February 7th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
I am not sure how much older you would like the women to be that are answering this but I am 32 and married with 4 children. Have you and your wife gotten involved in counselling? How old are the children? Does your wife have any free time for herself away from you and the children? Have you sat down with her and had a heart to heart talk to see what it is that is making her feel depressed? Suggest some time away for her whether it be going with a friend to the movies or a simple relaxing bubble bath. I know with a family things can get very hectic and we tend to lose those "free me" times. Try getting the kids to bed early or do it for her then run her a nice hot bubble bath, perhaps a book she might like to read, maybe a glass of wine. Let her know how much you care and are there for her. Try that and see if it helps. She may simply need some personal space for herself aside from the daily routine of being Mom and your wife. Also, tell her how her abusive behavior makes you feel and suggest marriage counselling and also some for her depression. I wish you all the best and God bless…
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February 7th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
First, I think you need to focus on the issue of depression that your wife is currently facing. It is difficult enough to make a successful marriage work when you are both healthy let alone when one is battling depression. I think if you love her you need to concentrate on getting her healthy once again. Everything seems much less overwhelming when you have a healthy partner at your side to help you with all the challenges life throws your way. In the meantime you are doing well if you are hanging in for the kids, and also aiding them in dealing with their mother’s depression. I’m sure this is very hard for them to deal with as well. Now, if the abuse of you is also spilling on to them, I would seriously reconsider a separation and some more intense medical or psychiatric programs for your spouse. A marriage is always worth making every attempt to salvage but make sure it is not at a lifetime psychological consequence to your kids.
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February 7th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
First of all you need to get her some help she cannot be a wife to you or a mother to your children unless she get her some help……
It is hard for you i know but try to hang on in there and support her and if that dosent work seek help for yourself and your children…….
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February 7th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Your wife is ill and can not get beyond a sense of reason. The only way she can be heard is to be abusive. If not treated she will only get worse. If she is on medication she might need to make an appointment with her doctor to change her medication to a different brand. This may be all that’s needed. Your reaction to be stubborn is the wrong course of action. Assertive yes..as you will need to be firm to keep things in control so she will at least listen. Try and be patient and not give up as she will need your support to get her through this. You will also need someone to help out and give you a break also and have some time out for yourself. A bit of love and affection helps a great deal. You can always look back and think you did all you could and your children will appreciate you when they have grown up. So try a little harder and you will see the results.
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February 7th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Now is the time to pray. Really pray. As you see counseling isn’t helping. The only one who is able to heal her is God.
I was depressed most of my life. When I started going to church and praying, God took away the depression and gave me
peace. A peace of mind. I know what depression does. It will
drive you crazy and it takes a toll on the family. Take your wife to a church and let them pray for her. God is going to bless you for being a good and faithful husband. I
applaud you for your work and devotion. There are not many men who would do that for their wife. If God delivered me from it then He can do the same for her. I’m a living witness. I’m a survivor.
References :