Communication Tips Helping Parenting
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Communicating with children of any age is probably the key parenting skill, as it helps build their self-esteem and confidence.
Through parenting we can prepare our children to survive and thrive in their environment. The environment that today’s society provides children is full of challenges and big issues like drugs, violence, and sex. That is why it is so important for children and parents to communicate openly.
Communication takes both talking and listening. Listening, instead of lecturing, gives children space to share their feelings, and by sorting through their own problems can help with their decision making skills. Further, good communication helps children develop confidence, feelings of self-worth, and good relationships with others.
At every age children need their parents to understand how they’re feeling. It’s your job to make your child feel that she can talk to you about anything going on in her life. You achieve this by listening properly and not leaping in with your own judgments or constantly blaming your child.
You want to be wise and prepared when you talk to your teen. Here are tips that can help. Good communication helps children and parents to develop confidence, feelings of self-worth, and good relationships with others. Try these tips:
Teach children to listen… gently touch a child before you talk… say their name.
Eat at least one meal together per day. Mealtime allows for two-way conversation and family bonding
Use time in the car wisely. Turn mom’s taxi service into an opportunity for stimulating conversation!
Speak in a quiet voice… whisper sometimes so children have to listen… they like this.
Host a family night each week. With a little effort, most families can set aside one evening per week for family activity.
Practice listening and talking: talk with your family about what you see on TV, hear on the radio or see at the park or store. (Talk with your children about school and their friends.)
Organize a 10-minute family time before bed each evening to cuddle on the sofa and affirm your love for your children.
Look a child in the eyes so you can tell when they understand… bend or sit down… become the child’s size.
Host family meetings to give your children a forum in which their input matters.
Express positive emotions. It takes more than just words to communicate positively. Studies show that only 7 percent of our message is through our words while 38 percent is through our tone of voice and 55 percent is through our posture and facial expressions!
Be conscious of how your communication affects your children. Children take cues from you as how to treat others in the family, as well as how to act outside the home.
Many parents only see their children when they’re at home. Get involved with your child’s school. Volunteer to help with extracurricular programs, such as theater or sports. You may discover new and wonderful aspects to your child that you otherwise would have missed.
Many parents know they have a troubled teen on there hands, as these warning signs will help tell. The question many parents have is “What do I do!” or “what are my options? If you have any suggestions for how to improve this site or any questions pertaining to this site, feel free to go:
http://www.abundantlifeacademy.us
http://www.abundantlifeacademy.info
http://www.troubledteens4jesus.com
It offers a wide variety of information pertaining to parenting teens in today’s society. They hope that the information presented on this site will be of some use to parents everywhere.
Games that can be played at work to improve communication skills?
2 Comments
February 7th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Do you have recovery tips for people walking away from an NPD family?
How can I keep my resolve and optimise my recovery chances when putting the distance between myself and the rest of my family; my father and two siblings, who all carry Narcisisstic Personality Disorder traits?
We live in 3 different countries, but the physical distance does not seem to reduce the psychic trauma that persists, mainly due to emails.
I have asked to be given my space and have put communication 'on hold'. Basically, it seems as if a light just went on in my head recently (I just turned 40, with all the trimmings). My own small family (my partner, our child of 3 and myself) has been undergoing a major crisis recently that has made us stronger and wiser but has tested our family network and base of friends. It became apparent to me during the crisis that a few of my friends are no different from my parent and siblings. Not only did they not offer to help or empathise – they couldn't. On the contrary, they were angered that their incapacity for empathy was 'outed', that we suddenly had needs that might overshadow their own etc. They used the situation to demote us in the friend ranks and to find bizarre insults and justifications for alienating us completely.
These friends, like my family, carried the 'magic', the excitement, the bouyant charm that is said to go with narcisissts. I find our 'normal' friends less fun, but they were the ones who stood by us, and helped us through it all. I feel my life and relationships have been based on a sham. I am deeply ashamed that I have possible passed by or let many good people down in favour of 'life in the fast lane' with Narcisissts. I have come to question my own narcisisstic normalcy now.
But, how to move forward? Not only do I love my family of origin unconditionally, I also feel deep sympathy for the childhood traumas they suffered – which were far worse than my own. It is true that NPD carriers are so often portrayed or described contemptuously – yet they are really to be pitied. I have never made a move to extricate myself before now because I felt their need so deeply. Needless to say, they have nearly always treated anything I might have to offer with contempt.
I have hoped all along for improvement – but reckon my withdrawal might 'out' the problem. Whilst biding my time, I'd like to try therapy, but wonder what other options there are. Can healing help? Taiji? One of those arabic or african exorcist ceremonies where there's lots of drum banging etc?
I'm just not sure talking is always the way out. Some things in life go so deep – can words really be enough of a spade? I come from a culture where we deal with our problems in the church or by singing songs and making jokes with a pint in hand. Indeed, about the Irish Freud said that we are the only people on whom psychoanalysis didn't work….I am also scared that even psychoanalysts confuse the victim with the perpetrator, or find ways to put you in the frame. I have been cited by my family as its obstacle to happiness all my life. I know about blame, and have enough guilt to sink a sofa the size of the Titanic. The problem is, with all the garbage, is that I am likely to claim it as mine just to assuage or explain all my guilt (I'm the one in a group who feels the guilt/shame at something someone else has done).
My partner has a family with an almost identical narcisissm problem (stemming from the father), though a little less severe, as his mother seems to be able to live with NPD in proximity by ignoring the bullying and riding the waves. He has learned from her.
Basically, NPD folk see me and my partner coming. I know we are complicit in the dynamic somehow. Ultimately, this isn't just about our families or friends, but about freeing ourselves from the compulsion to carry NPD sufferers around. Surely, if we didn't exist, they wouldn't. If the sources of Narcissistic supply dried up, what then? Is taking some blame part of the therapeutic process, or does it deepen the problem?
How can one be solution oriented, in other words, rather than problem-oriented?
Thanks,
BB
February 8th, 2009 at 2:56 am
I have a solution, but it's not an easy or possibly real one. . .RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!! NPD folks are horrible people. They will not change, therapy rarely works because they, of course, think they are smarter and better than the therapist. Def. try to get some help for yourself and your husband to find out why you seek out and possibly enable these kinds of people. (((HUGS)))
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